Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
