One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
