And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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