She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
