A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
