I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He shit in the fireplace
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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