You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
