my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
