I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
