Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
