so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
