I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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