This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
