If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
