Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
