Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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