There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
