Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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