Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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