we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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