I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
