Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
