I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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