thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
