Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
