Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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