Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
