sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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