She said her name was "party"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can't turn off my feet"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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