hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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