she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
now i know why i became what i already was.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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