I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
