she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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