It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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