if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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