I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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