The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
