we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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