Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
