So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You've changed since you got that strap on
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
