I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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