now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
