she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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