im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
