there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
