He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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