So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
