I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
