I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
