But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
